Archive for the 'Comedy' Category
Tuesday, July 15th, 2008
well i never!
Saturday, May 17th, 2008
a.p.p.e.a.s.e.
can you say “PWNED!”?
Monday, May 12th, 2008
Japan!
For a recovering tetris addict and fan of Takeshi’s castle, this is pure gold.
Sunday, May 4th, 2008
Ibanker seeking …
Al, perhaps, this is one career you may wish to discount?
Hello,
ABOUT YOU:
You are a young and good-looking girl. The parental abuse that you incurred as a child has left you emotionally distant and sexually repressed. You are able to sustain months (y
ears?) of loneliness because you shudder at the thought of human interaction. You have a constant feeling of inadequacy leading to excessive hours on the elliptical machine (and, accordingly, a nicely toned bum). I might do stuff to you while you are sleeping at 4AM (when I finally get home from the office), but, other than that, our sex-life will be nonexistent. Naive girls who have been in long-distance relationships and have had their hearts broken by guys who perpetually cheated are more than welcome to email me; I promise that I’m different.
ABOUT ME:
I am a first year analyst at a bulge-bracket investment bank; this means that I’m either Jewish, Asian, or from old-money (and, therefore, connected up the wazoo). Given that this post is (hopefully) grammatically correct, coherently legible, and satirically palatable, I’d like to think that I got into banking based on merits associated with my intelligence; therefore, I’m probably not from old money and am not connected up the wazoo (sorry).
I got into banking as a result of an overwhelming abundance of insecurities. I went to a top-tiered and prestigious undergraduate university, yet, have always felt inferior to the Harvardites and Princetonians that surround me. I’m likely either short and socially outcasted (with excellent kung-fu skills) or schnoz-nosed and unable to date, as every girl I meet in Manhattan is a UES slut that reminds me of my mother.
I go to the gym every morning, as my unnecessarily ambitious and secretively compensating type-A personality forces me to always strive for the best. That, and also the endorphins released from the exercise keep me elated enough to prevent attempting suicide for at least 24 hours.
I approach dating as I do anything else; as a strict meritocracy where I compete to win. At bars, I won’t tell girls that I’m a banker; I feel that it would be unfair to take a girl home by playing the pity card (”Oh, you work in banking? I feel so bad for you. Fine, I guess I’ll sleep with you.”). I’ll likely say that I’m a math teacher at the Dalton School (my Jewish/Asian heritage helps me here) so that girls realize that I’m piss-poor (as are all my other analyst buddies, despite what we tell our family and friends back home) but have Epstein potential.
My interests include playing brickbreaker on my blackberry, romantic dinners expensed to my firm, and finding novel ways to entertain myself during late-night hours (posting personal ads on Craigslist at 3AM - FUN; getting head from you while you hide under my desk - PROBABLY FUNNER).
If you fit my description (and God help you if you do…) feel free to email me. Pictures of boobs (yours or random ones you find on the internet) would be helpful to include in the email. As I’m posting this with my work email address, I’m hoping to get lucky enough that some back-office rat finds the inappropriate content during a routine inbox sweep, so that I can finally be liberated from this relentless world of superficial elitism. I’m talking about the old-money guys.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/646020922.html
Wednesday, April 16th, 2008
On your point.
“Next time can we just get flu shots like everyone else?”
Monday, April 7th, 2008
oh, khuda ke liye!
Apparently this is in chaste urdu, and apparently, its doing rather well too in India.
Though, obviously, it can’t touch this:
Sunday, March 30th, 2008
To boy: The carrot cake missives
Ah, but the point is, it isnt foreign music, in a language you dont understand, isnt quite the same as a song which do understand, and you recognize that the lyrics are bad. I think it makes the whole experiance poorer.
Also, it seems our conversation was rather prescient: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7321147.stm
Al, for your benefit, amongst the innumerable avatars of inanity that graced our conversation earlier today, i can recall
1) a debate on whether musicans who write songs with bad/meanigless lyrics should be sold into slavery
2) a hybrid inductive/deductive hypothesis for the question that has long troubled us (used in its broadest sense) - “where do the pretty girls go in winter?”
3) what is the one pakistani song you hate to love.
Saturday, January 26th, 2008
thank you very much
what can i say, atomsmasher? i’m a romantic at heart, and a sucker for slickly produced romantic-comedy-musicals. i suggest you give it a go. jab we met isn’t half bad for what it is.
ANYway, moin akhtar is definitely a legend. i think live comedy is probably a culturally confined thing to a large extent. but then moin akhtar’s comedy is also physical - in terms of his costumes and acting, etc. - so i’m not sure what sort of reception he would receive in europe or north america, even if he performs in english or greek or polish or something.
poor junoon - they put out a string of good albums, only to end up the whipping boys of pakistani music critics everywhere, especially at the baja. funny that salman ahmad started off with vital signs. i still have some respect for him because of the music junoon made in the 90s, like "neend aati nahi", or "khudi", or "jugal bandi". i never got into the sufi-rock they started taking so seriously - they were a rock band.
i still like ali azmat though. he’s taken a new direction and some of his social circus stuff is pretty good. he has one heck of a singing voice, and i’ve heard he puts on an excellent live show. i just think he should stay away from hosting television shows, however. sometimes pappo yaar - the show on aag - is just painful and distressing [wait for the "final thoughts" for something especially excruciating].
Thursday, January 24th, 2008
Moin Akhtar - Underrated or Overrated?
Since where on Pakistani cultural icons, here’s a link I made. Vital Signs to Strings. Strings is made up of Faisal Kapadia and Bilal Maqsood. Bilal Maqsood’s father is Anwar Maqsood. Anwar Maqsood is host of the legendary show Loose Talk with Moin Akhter and occasionally Javed Jaffrey. Actually, I made it up retrospectively but who cares right?
So on to my main point, I think its very very hard to overrate Moin Akhtar. The man has proven himself to be consistently great over a long period of time. Given his lack of exposure abroad compared to say Nusrat, I started to think, is comedy culturally confined? Now, I think the Daily Show is great but then I’m also pretty plugged into American Culture so that doesn’t really count. At the same time, I’m guessing that a lot of evangelical christians don’t find it funny at all.
Thankfully, my rambling has to come to an end as I have to go to class. Enjoy the clip and there’s actually a huge archive on youtube if you want more.